Books from the Black Lagoon…
…or Horror Stories from our Bookkeepers’ Archives!
These deliciously slow days between Christmas and New Year always seem to end up in bouts of reminiscing. This morning saw us pausing to remember, reflect, shudder and yes, laugh out loud at some of our daily dealings of the past year. So, we thought we’d share these with you…
Ah, the life of an accountant. Number crunching, spreadsheets, audits... and the occasional spine-chilling horror story that comes with bookkeeping. Let's dive into the abyss of bookkeeping blunders, shall we?
The Case of the Missing Receipts:
Picture this: a frantic client, a plastic bag full of crumpled receipts, filing deadlines and compliance requirements looming for the client and a missing VAT refund. It's like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the haystack is on fire and the needle is a tiny piece of paper that could save your client thousands. And let's not forget the faded ink, the coffee stains, the gross thumbprint across the total (we never got to the bottom of what that stuff was but we decided it looked like tomato sauce and not blood) and the cryptic scribbles that only the client can decipher.
We did it, we pulled it off and the client was both grateful and gracious and learned his lesson - till receipts are now immediately scanned into the bookkeeping system we set up for him and all we need to do is the monthly reconciliations and reports. Joyful, but what a ride it was to get there!
The "I Forgot to Mention" Expense:
You know, the one that pops up months after the financial year-end. "Oh, by the way, I bought a yacht for the business." Cue the accountant's internal screaming. Ok, it wasn’t a yacht, it was five iMacs plus accessories and a printer powerful enough to get you to the moon and back, but it was the last minute, literally. We were one click away from submitting to auditors.
The Spreadsheet from Hell:
We've all seen it: the spreadsheet with more colors than a rainbow, formulas that would baffle a rocket scientist, and a structure that seems to defy all logic. It's a masterpiece of chaos, and it's your job to make sense of it. Bonus points if it's been "updated" by multiple people with varying levels of Excel proficiency. Or none.
This was one of our biggest challenges this past year, bigger, even, than the carrier bags full of crinkled up bits of receipts and invoices. But the issue was the inverse of the usual Spreadsheet in Chaos phenomenon. This one had so little useful information and somehow we had to find and relate the transactions to the bank statements and back up every one of these with evidence so that the client’s auditors could be satisfied. It was a nightmare - hours of trawling through the client’s hand-written notes, correcting inputting errors. Lots of hair pulling, yelling curses at our screens and doing that old-fashioned thing of spreading out papers in little piles across the office floor before any of it made sense. But again, we did it, we saw it through and now this client’s books are neatly kept on Sage and the client happy to let us keep them that way!
The Case of the Disappearing Bank Statements:
This one was tricky. The client was a small company which had undergone a change in directors on its board and none of the new directors were signatories on the company bank account nor had online access. Resolving this takes time but for every week that went past without access to their bank account and up to date account information, the client was a) falling into debt with its suppliers and b) was unable to chase its own debtors. An impasse that made a solid concrete wall topped with and electrified fence seem a simple obstacle to surmount. To add to the difficulties, the solution to this was out of our hands. All we could do was wait for the bank to complete the process of allowing the new directors access to the account and once the information came through, we could crack on with updating the books. One month to update eleven months of data and get out customer statements before the end of their financial year. Just as well we like coffee and our Finance Director can manage on just a couple of hours’ sleep!
The Data Entry Debacle:
Typos, misplaced decimals, duplicate entries... data entry can be a minefield. One wrong keystroke, and suddenly the company's profits have vanished into thin air. Or worse, they've magically multiplied, leading to a tax bill that could bankrupt a small nation. This is why accountants have the best eye for detail!
The "I'm Not Good with Numbers" Client:
Bless their hearts, they try. But when their bank reconciliation looks like a Jackson Pollock painting, you know you're in for a long night. Explaining the basics of debits and credits for the hundredth time requires the patience of a saint and the communication skills of a diplomat.
Despite these hair-raising experiences, accountants are a resilient bunch. We'll face the bookkeeping demons head-on, armed with our calculators, our spreadsheets, and a wry sense of humor. After all, someone has to keep the financial world from descending into utter chaos. And if we can have a chuckle (or a stiff drink) along the way, all the better!
